Here’s the thing. These are not answers to any questions that have been asked, frequently or otherwise. This is my disclaimer section, my fine print, my void-where-prohibited area. And this is me, stalling.
I believe that I am compelled to write. I have always felt that way, but I worked just about as hard as I could to convince myself otherwise. I don’t know when it happened, but I decided to retire from that job. The pay was crappy, the hours were long, and the benefits included self-loathing supplemented by bouts of aimlessness and despair.
Hmmm, I really should check on the availability of butidigress.com
Here is my truth:
I am a Christian. A friend once said, “Yeah I knew you were Christian but I didn’t know you were that Christian.” I’m still trying to figure out what that means, along with about a million other things.
I am in the midst of divorce. Alien-from-Mars /slash/ midst-of-divorce. Yup, each one seems equally possible.
I am someone who experienced years of infertility and numerous miscarriages.
Along with that trifecta, I am also happy. Some days I want to add a modifier or asterisk to that statement and other days I write that statement down just so I can dramatically crumple it up and fling it across the room. But overall, I choose to be happy. Which is not at all the same as always feeling happy. This site will chronicle many aspects of that spectrum.
You will see a lot written about grief and loss, as those are some of the things I’m working on – both in my soul and in my writing. I’m finding that those two things – my soul and my writing – are not easy to separate. I’m also finding that I’m really, really okay with that.