I opened the door.
I opened the door to people I trust and care about. I opened the door because I’ve been on this side of it for too long. Now that it’s open, I think, Well now what?
I opened the door not only to let others in, but to let/nudge myself out. Out of the bubble I’ve built, the walls I’ve created and the safety zone I’ve established. Which all sounds so neat and tidy but the stuff that comes to mind is a whole lot messier than that. Welcoming people into my mess is not easy.
A bonus I’d lost sight of is the fresh air that comes into a space that’s been closed up for too long. I no longer take the shallower breaths of the slightly stale air I’d grown accustomed to; I’m able to take great gulping lungsful of fresh air. Even though it makes me a little light headed, I feel better able to handle “the good stuff,” the purer air that’s been filtered by sunlight and truth telling.
Clearing out some of the dust and cobwebs, I laugh. The giddy, gobsmacked laugh that comes with Realization #394 that it was not then, is not now and never will be because of me. I could weep when I consider how many times I’ve prayed this prayer:
“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” ~ Matthew 7:7
GOD. Opened. The door.
Patricia Alderman 